Show All Discussions

Just Be Happy

Just Be Happy
Date: 4/19/2023

Be Happy

Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy, if you are willing to remove all conditions you have placed on your happiness, stop blaming others for your unhappiness and stop trying to control people by forcing your unrealistic expectations on them.  

A.    Remove all the conditions you have placed on your happiness. 

What does that mean?  Well, you might not have realized that you are delaying happiness until certain conditions have been met.  These conditions are often set by you. 

 Have you ever thought or said:

1. I will be happy when I lose weight.

2. I will be happy when I get a better job.

3. I will be happy when I make more money.

4. I will be happy when I get a better apartment.

5. I will be happy when I graduate high school.

6. I will be happy when I graduate college.

7. I will be happy when I get married.

8. I will be happy when I have a baby.

These are just a few of the examples of conditions that you may be putting on your happiness.  If you have ever thought or said, I will be happy when________________.  Then you are the cause of your unhappiness.  Just stop.  Say out loud, I AM HAPPY!!!   No conditions necessary.

B. Stop blaming your unhappiness on other people.  If you have ever said any of the following, then the reason you might be unhappy is because you suffer from the blame game.

What is the blame game?

The blame game is a vicious cycle of blaming other people for events that happened in the past that you are allowing to destroy your future.

If you suffer from the blame game, then you have likely thought or said:

1   If my parents would have stayed together.

2.  If my dad would have loved me more.

3.  If my mom would have loved me more.

4.  If I had been raised differently.

5.  If my society, school, church or family had been less restrictive and more loving.

6.  If I had been encouraged to be myself. 

Sure, you can blame your parents, your teacher, your religion, your family, your friends, your co-workers.  You can blame that person who just cut you off in traffic.  You can blame anyone for anything and sometimes you are right that many individuals in your life may have failed to meet your expectations. However, to attack and blame other people for your life makes you a victim because of what someone else did to you in the past.  This destroys all hope of anything improving because there is no way to change the past.  Nothing you can do will change the past and you can get stuck in the past by wishing things happened differently.  You think and say things like you can never have a good life because ______________ did this and _________________did that.  

To be happy, you are going to have to choose to accept that people are doing the best they can.  No one is out to get you, except you by choosing to let the past which you cannot change control your future.  Instead, take control of your life by making choices to create the life you want.  Will there be challenges?  You bet, but the alternative of sitting around blaming everyone else for your problems victimizes you.  

To create happiness, you are going to have to forgive those who have wronged you.  Sometimes you need to forgive yourself for those you have wronged.  Whether you are forgiving yourself or other individuals for past mistakes, forgiveness is for YOU.  It allows you to move on from the past. 

C. Controlling and unrealistic expectations.  Unhappiness occurs when reality differs from your expectations or beliefs.  

What does this look like?

1. I could be happy if my friends, family, or society just did it my way and  just agreed with me about everything.  

2. A good example of this is the desire for everyone to be the same religion or the same race or the same__________.    It sounds great until all you have are plumbers and you need an electrician or you have to walk everywhere because you refused to let Henry Ford create the car because you sell horses and think the horse and buggy is the best mode of transportation.

How do I fix this?  Stop trying to control everyone and everything.  Individual freedom is good.  The best way to promote freedom is to let individuals make their own choices even if they are different than the choices you would have made for yourself.  Freedom can only be achieved long term if your individual freedom does not interfere with another individual’s freedom.  

The biggest thing getting in the way of your happiness is YOU!  Yes, you are the reason for your unhappiness.  Whether it is placing conditions on your happiness or blaming others for your unhappiness or trying to control others, you are causing your own unhappiness.

The important thing to know is that if you are responsible for your unhappiness, then there is something you can do about it.  You can make changes in your life to be happy.

Here are my ABC’s to happiness.

A. Stop placing conditions upon your happiness.  There is no need for it.  

Say to yourself, I am happy.(period)

B. Yes, I have had challenges in my life that I had no control over, but I am now in control of my own life and can make my own choices.  I can forgive those who harmed me.  I can set up boundaries to avoid future harm.  I can let go of the past.  

Say to yourself – Everyone is doing the best they can and so am I. 

C. Stop trying to force family, friends or even strangers to do it your way.   Stop expecting things to be different than they are.  

Say – It is what it is!

Was this information helpful?

0 found this helpful
0 did not find this helpful

No replies yet
Join to reply

Copyright © 2023 Join a Meet all rights reserved
Support Email: